As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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