hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
