I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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