I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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