he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
