I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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