U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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