fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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