wake up i wanna do it froggy style
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
