I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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