drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
