who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
