You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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