Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
