I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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