I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
