This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
