the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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