"it" just moved
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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