i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize