His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
