Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
