he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
