In the future we'll all be gay
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Randomize
