Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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