She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
