I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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