my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize