I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
