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  • 61 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:33pm

    How do you people know the poster is a man? Could be a woman...I've had to sneak sometimes cause he feels insecure about my hitachi.

  • 51 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:26pm

    ima girl here...wtf? that SUCKS. I got married to have sex on a regular basis. f*** women piss me off sometimes.

  • 43 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:26pm

    so that means you can finish yourself using a soap on a rope? MacGuyver picked a lock once with one!

  • 52 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 9:29pm

    Married 30yo male, I'm on a 5 week dry spell so far. Avg sex is once/month.

  • 51 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 6:29pm

    let her know that she's not fullfilling your needs. If she still refuses to without just cause, masturbate anytime/anywhere you want in the house to the nastiest porn you can find.

  • 47 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 3:09pm

    You use pocket knives and dental floss to masturbate? Awkward.....

  • 55 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:08pm

    you big loser.....give that bitch an ultimatum -- either put out when YOU want or you kick her ass out. If she's not having sex with you, she's getting it from some other guy. Wise up, dipshit, and force the issue.

  • 44 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 1:21am

    I've always been called the MacGuyver of jacking off. I took a belt sander, a used tampon, some astroglide, 3 thumbtacks, a goose down pillow, a yanni cd, some naked pictures of Yoko Ono, and some strawberries and I made a fun evening out of it. The pain let's you know you're alive

  • 43 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:46pm

    Same here 1:03 I think it was better

  • 45 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:12pm

    I masturbate with sandpaper because I like a nice smooth finish

  • 43 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:36pm

    You ain't got shit on Patty and Selma Bouvier.

  • 36 47
    Submitted by arioch9 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:55pm

    This loser kid at my school whacked off with/in a hot pocket no joke

  • 47 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:20pm

    the OP wouldn't cheat on his wife because she has his balls in a jar. He hasn't stood up to take a piss since the wedding. MEOW

  • 42 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:16pm

    Put out or get out same as a one night stand

  • 39 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:41pm

    Why would anyone give this a thumbs down?

  • 47 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 6:30pm

    wow, lots of prudish women in here handing out thumbs ups and downs.

  • 42 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 5:51pm

    U should heat up a banana peel then use it to masturbate

  • 40 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:33pm

    The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good!

  • 35 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 1:13am

    I tuope loke s vblindf poersin

  • 37 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:06pm

    If not even your wife wants to give you something you must be fucking lame in bed

  • 39 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:48pm

    I've been the Micheal Westen of masturbating since I was 12.

  • 38 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 3:45am

    hahaah all the married people have ticked "good night" all the single people "bad night"

  • 34 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 2:09pm

    Charles Rutherford believes u should try heating up a "hot pocket". Thank you

  • 37 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:56am

    @ Oct 28 639 pm are u optimus prime?

  • 35 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 7:17pm

    More like McGruber.

  • 38 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:03pm

    I masturbated with vegetable oil because I ran out of lube.... worked good!

  • 40 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:42pm

    Why are there so many dislikes this is hilarious -R.L

  • 47 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:12pm

    if you're not getting any you're allowed to cheat

  • 30 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:51am

    Here's a piece of chewing gum, a match, a thumbtack, a mirror, a elastic band, a fountain pen and a d cell battery. Go whack off.

  • 38 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:35pm

    i have the same problem only it's with my roommate at college

  • 36 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:23pm

    wa psssh wa psssh...whipped!

  • 37 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 4:33pm

    1:08 word son, word. Bitches ain't shit but ho's n tricks. On a serious note: foreal she's prolly cheatn on u bro.. Check her or better yet get yourself checked haha

  • 32 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:37am

    The thumbs up means good night and thumbs down means bad night then they put them in Which catagory we vote for

  • 26 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 11:08pm

    You just need a pair of popsicle sticks and an elastic band

  • 28 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 2:47pm

    i actually tought it was a girl too...there is just more you can do....i think

  • 33 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 7:32pm

    Hahaha this one was pretty funny

  • 31 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 5:56pm

    551, it makes yo dick sticky