Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
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How do you people know the poster is a man? Could be a woman...I've had to sneak sometimes cause he feels insecure about my hitachi.
ima girl here...wtf? that SUCKS. I got married to have sex on a regular basis. f*** women piss me off sometimes.
You use pocket knives and dental floss to masturbate? Awkward.....
Married 30yo male, I'm on a 5 week dry spell so far. Avg sex is once/month.
the OP wouldn't cheat on his wife because she has his balls in a jar. He hasn't stood up to take a piss since the wedding. MEOW
let her know that she's not fullfilling your needs. If she still refuses to without just cause, masturbate anytime/anywhere you want in the house to the nastiest porn you can find.
so that means you can finish yourself using a soap on a rope? MacGuyver picked a lock once with one!
you big loser.....give that bitch an ultimatum -- either put out when YOU want or you kick her ass out. If she's not having sex with you, she's getting it from some other guy. Wise up, dipshit, and force the issue.
I masturbate with sandpaper because I like a nice smooth finish
Same here 1:03 I think it was better
U should heat up a banana peel then use it to masturbate
I masturbated with vegetable oil because I ran out of lube.... worked good!
This loser kid at my school whacked off with/in a hot pocket no joke
I've always been called the MacGuyver of jacking off. I took a belt sander, a used tampon, some astroglide, 3 thumbtacks, a goose down pillow, a yanni cd, some naked pictures of Yoko Ono, and some strawberries and I made a fun evening out of it.
The pain let's you know you're alive
Why would anyone give this a thumbs down?
Put out or get out same as a one night stand
I've been the Micheal Westen of masturbating since I was 12.
You ain't got shit on Patty and Selma Bouvier.
The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good!
hahaah all the married people have ticked "good night"
all the single people "bad night"
Here's a piece of chewing gum, a match, a thumbtack, a mirror, a elastic band, a fountain pen and a d cell battery. Go whack off.
Why are there so many dislikes this is hilarious
i have the same problem only it's with my roommate at college
Charles Rutherford believes u should try heating up a "hot pocket". Thank you
wow, lots of prudish women in here handing out thumbs ups and downs.
if you're not getting any you're allowed to cheat
The thumbs up means good night and thumbs down means bad night then they put them in
Which catagory we vote for
551, it makes yo dick sticky
@ Oct 28 639 pm are u optimus prime?
wa psssh wa psssh...whipped!
I tuope loke s vblindf poersin
If not even your wife wants to give you something you must be fucking lame in bed
You just need a pair of popsicle sticks and an elastic band
More like McGruber.
1:08 word son, word. Bitches ain't shit but ho's n tricks. On a serious note: foreal she's prolly cheatn on u bro.. Check her or better yet get yourself checked haha
Hahaha this one was pretty funny
i actually tought it was a girl too...there is just more you can do....i think