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  • How do you people know the poster is a man? Could be a woman...I've had to sneak sometimes cause he feels insecure about my hitachi.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:33pm
  • ima girl here...wtf? that SUCKS. I got married to have sex on a regular basis. f*** women piss me off sometimes.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:26pm
  • You use pocket knives and dental floss to masturbate? Awkward.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 3:09pm
  • Married 30yo male, I'm on a 5 week dry spell so far. Avg sex is once/month.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 9:29pm
  • let her know that she's not fullfilling your needs. If she still refuses to without just cause, masturbate anytime/anywhere you want in the house to the nastiest porn you can find.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 6:29pm
  • so that means you can finish yourself using a soap on a rope? MacGuyver picked a lock once with one!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:26pm
  • U should heat up a banana peel then use it to masturbate

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 5:51pm
  • you big loser.....give that bitch an ultimatum -- either put out when YOU want or you kick her ass out. If she's not having sex with you, she's getting it from some other guy. Wise up, dipshit, and force the issue.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:08pm
  • the OP wouldn't cheat on his wife because she has his balls in a jar. He hasn't stood up to take a piss since the wedding. MEOW

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:20pm
  • I masturbate with sandpaper because I like a nice smooth finish

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 5:12pm
  • Same here 1:03 I think it was better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:46pm
  • This loser kid at my school whacked off with/in a hot pocket no joke

    Submitted by arioch9 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:55pm
  • I masturbated with vegetable oil because I ran out of lube.... worked good!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:03pm
  • I've always been called the MacGuyver of jacking off. I took a belt sander, a used tampon, some astroglide, 3 thumbtacks, a goose down pillow, a yanni cd, some naked pictures of Yoko Ono, and some strawberries and I made a fun evening out of it. The pain let's you know you're alive

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 1:21am
  • I've been the Micheal Westen of masturbating since I was 12.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:48pm
  • Why would anyone give this a thumbs down?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:41pm
  • Why are there so many dislikes this is hilarious -R.L

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:42pm
  • Put out or get out same as a one night stand

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:16pm
  • You ain't got shit on Patty and Selma Bouvier.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:36pm
  • Here's a piece of chewing gum, a match, a thumbtack, a mirror, a elastic band, a fountain pen and a d cell battery. Go whack off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:51am
  • wow, lots of prudish women in here handing out thumbs ups and downs.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 6:30pm
  • The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 12:33pm
  • i have the same problem only it's with my roommate at college

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:35pm
  • hahaah all the married people have ticked "good night" all the single people "bad night"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 3:45am
  • Charles Rutherford believes u should try heating up a "hot pocket". Thank you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 2:09pm
  • The thumbs up means good night and thumbs down means bad night then they put them in Which catagory we vote for

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:37am
  • 551, it makes yo dick sticky

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 5:56pm
  • if you're not getting any you're allowed to cheat

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:12pm
  • wa psssh wa psssh...whipped!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 1:23pm
  • @ Oct 28 639 pm are u optimus prime?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 12:56am
  • If not even your wife wants to give you something you must be fucking lame in bed

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 10:06pm
  • I tuope loke s vblindf poersin

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 29, 09 at 1:13am
  • Hahaha this one was pretty funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 7:32pm
  • You just need a pair of popsicle sticks and an elastic band

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 6, 09 at 11:08pm
  • More like McGruber.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 7:17pm
  • 1:08 word son, word. Bitches ain't shit but ho's n tricks. On a serious note: foreal she's prolly cheatn on u bro.. Check her or better yet get yourself checked haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 4:33pm
  • i actually tought it was a girl too...there is just more you can do....i think

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 28, 09 at 2:47pm
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