Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
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How do you people know the poster is a man? Could be a woman...I've had to sneak sometimes cause he feels insecure about my hitachi.
ima girl here...wtf? that SUCKS. I got married to have sex on a regular basis. f*** women piss me off sometimes.
You use pocket knives and dental floss to masturbate? Awkward.....
Married 30yo male, I'm on a 5 week dry spell so far. Avg sex is once/month.
let her know that she's not fullfilling your needs. If she still refuses to without just cause, masturbate anytime/anywhere you want in the house to the nastiest porn you can find.
so that means you can finish yourself using a soap on a rope? MacGuyver picked a lock once with one!
you big loser.....give that bitch an ultimatum -- either put out when YOU want or you kick her ass out. If she's not having sex with you, she's getting it from some other guy. Wise up, dipshit, and force the issue.
U should heat up a banana peel then use it to masturbate
the OP wouldn't cheat on his wife because she has his balls in a jar. He hasn't stood up to take a piss since the wedding. MEOW
I masturbate with sandpaper because I like a nice smooth finish
Same here 1:03 I think it was better
I've been the Micheal Westen of masturbating since I was 12.
This loser kid at my school whacked off with/in a hot pocket no joke
I masturbated with vegetable oil because I ran out of lube.... worked good!
I've always been called the MacGuyver of jacking off. I took a belt sander, a used tampon, some astroglide, 3 thumbtacks, a goose down pillow, a yanni cd, some naked pictures of Yoko Ono, and some strawberries and I made a fun evening out of it.
The pain let's you know you're alive
Why are there so many dislikes this is hilarious
Why would anyone give this a thumbs down?
Put out or get out same as a one night stand
You ain't got shit on Patty and Selma Bouvier.
Here's a piece of chewing gum, a match, a thumbtack, a mirror, a elastic band, a fountain pen and a d cell battery. Go whack off.
wow, lots of prudish women in here handing out thumbs ups and downs.
The song "Hot Shot City" is particularly good!
i have the same problem only it's with my roommate at college
hahaah all the married people have ticked "good night"
all the single people "bad night"
Charles Rutherford believes u should try heating up a "hot pocket". Thank you
The thumbs up means good night and thumbs down means bad night then they put them in
Which catagory we vote for
551, it makes yo dick sticky
if you're not getting any you're allowed to cheat
wa psssh wa psssh...whipped!
@ Oct 28 639 pm are u optimus prime?
If not even your wife wants to give you something you must be fucking lame in bed
I tuope loke s vblindf poersin
Hahaha this one was pretty funny
You just need a pair of popsicle sticks and an elastic band
More like McGruber.
1:08 word son, word. Bitches ain't shit but ho's n tricks. On a serious note: foreal she's prolly cheatn on u bro.. Check her or better yet get yourself checked haha
i actually tought it was a girl too...there is just more you can do....i think