Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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