Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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