your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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