carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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