he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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