I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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