Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
