I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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