Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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