Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Help. Why am I so naked?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
