what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
