problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
