But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
