I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
