i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
