I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Randomize
