hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
