I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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