If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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