My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
