I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he thought i was a dude.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
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