I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
