There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
