the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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