The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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