You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
