He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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