Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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