I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
