She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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