remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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