I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
