As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In other news, I just burned my penis
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
