can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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