Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
