Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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