Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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