So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
