Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
