doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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