Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When did angry sex become our thing?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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